Does it come in 3D?

 I guess that if somebody saw earning potential in resurrecting Sex and Zen, a new iteration in the once annual Kunoichi Ninpocho series was inevitable. I reviewed the last entry in the venerable series, Hitoshi Ozawa’s Kunoichi: Lady Ninja, last December, making mention of its odd mix of anime and Hong Kong aesthetics with the expected sexually charged (and unquestionably misogynistic) kunoichi magic and endless supply of female nudity.

It occurs to me that the absorption of Hong Kong’s once signature action style throughout the world has rendered the observation that any movie of recent vintage imitates “Hong Kong wire-fu” moot. It was a little surprising that Ozawa did it in ’98, but probably the most notable thing about Kunoichi: Lady Ninja was how unlike the rest of the series it was, with all of the splattery gore effects and wire-assisted leaps. The rest of the series had little in the way of outrageous visuals besides the eponymous ninpo; the swordplay and stunt work generally looks rather typical of what one might expect from Japanese v-cinema of the day.

Now that mimicking HK fight choreography, editing, and wire effects is de rigueur throughout the world, and especially in Japanese b-movies featuring gravure idols and porn stars, there’s a bit less novelty here. In fact, the trailer for the upcoming Kunoichi Ninpocho: Kage no Tsuki looks almost indistinguishable from any other low-budget Japanese movie of its type for the first half of the trailer. Then the poison queef of cgi lotus petal doom happens.

Wikipedia claims that there was a 1964 movie based on Yamada’s novel, so – let’s just assume that Wikipedia isn’t just making shit up – the first adaptation would actually be either a predecessor or an early part of the “pinky film” genre. Either that or it’s a standard chambara/ninja film that fails to adapt the original novel. Or maybe Yamada wrote a generic story about lady ninjas and the newer movies just ran in their own direction, spraying deadly breast milk and vagina bubbles in the process. However it happened, Kunoichi Ninpocho is now one of those rare things that spans multiple generations of cinema, and it seems to owe it all to that hilarious lady ninja magic.

Though it looks like this new iteration covers up the actual nudity with glowing cgi. Maybe it's just for the trailer?

I’m looking forward to Kunoichi Ninpocho: Kage no Tsuki mostly for the presence of Yuri Morishita in adorably ersatz ninja garb. And frankly, it’s about time that Japan resurrected this ridiculous little cultural oddity. I’ll take it over Frankenstein Girl VS Zombie Girl.

Daaaa-yum.